


he looks just like me but six foot three, so i reckon you can knock him out.

by regularloser



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: F/F, F/M, FINNA go now, Fluff, Gay, Isak and Even are parents!!!!!], M/M, Multi, Parent!fic, Smut, Songs, gay shit, idk what im doing, it's 22:04, omg i said gay twice, pls halp, teen drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-04-28 11:43:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14448576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regularloser/pseuds/regularloser
Summary: "Well I only brought three, what you looking at me for?"Isak and Even and their lives as parents.





	1. And You're A Liar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title-You by The 1975
> 
> Book Title-Menswear by The 1975

 

> _It's not everyday you walk in on your son getting a blowjob from a guy you've never seen before, but this is what Isak gets for not reading the "DO NOT DISTURB" card hanging off the door handle._

  In Isak's defense, he had just gotten home from work and it was a busy night so he wasn't very observant of the loud music playing, as well as the "DO NOT DISTURB" sign on the door handle. Because, all Isak wanted to do was finish the kids laundry and then go to bed. Even, Isak's lovely husband was in the kitchen helping Amalia with her math homework, leaving him to witness the consequences of not knocking before you open your child's door.

 "Sorry sorry!" Isak shouts as he closes his eyes and slams Ole's door shut, only to call for his husband. Once Even goes upstairs to see what his husband needs, he is greeted with the basket of dirty laundry on the floor, and Isak standing with his hands over his eyes. "Babe, what happened?" Even asks very concerned. "I opened Ole's door and I saw him getting a blowjob from who I'm assuming is his boyfriend." Isak cries out, not removing his hands from his eyes, with his head facing the floor. Even pulls Isak into a hug, but he doesn't know what to do?! Should he give his son a stern talking to about fucking getting his dick sucked or should he be taking his husband to therapy because this incident most-likely just gave him PTSD!

Even knocked on his sons door, and before he could even knock a second time the door flew open, revealing a very red Ole and a very embarrassed teen boy who Isak and Even still don't know the name of. "Dads, this is Eliam. Eliam, Dads, Dads, Eliam" Ole says while motioning to whom he was introducing the other too. He let's his dads into his room and sits next to Eliam, placing his hand on Eliam's thigh. "Is their something you want to tell us, Ole?" Even questions while wrapping an arm around his husbands small waist, "I..I uh..I'm pan" Ole stutters out. In the span of two seconds, Evens arms are shooting up into the air while he cheers, "Finally! I'm not the only pan-fucking-sexual I know!". Isak puts his head in his palms while shaking his his head in embarrassment of the fact that he married and had kids with this man. 

"So, am I the only straight one in this house?", Amalia asks from the doorway of her older brothers room. Everyone looks up at the girl who asked the question, not knowing when she had got there. "Um, I don't know? We'll have to see how Vance turns out" Isak responds, causing an airy laugh to escape Even's mouth. Amalia nods in agreement at the statement made by her father, Isak. "Well Eliam, the reasoning of our meeting was not ideal but, it was nice to meet you nonetheless" Even stated while wrapping an arm around Isak's shoulders about to leave when they heard a quiet voice say, "It was very nice to meet you guys too". Isak smiled and left the room with his husband and finishing the load of laundry he was supposed to be doing before he made the mistake of not knocking. 

As the time changed from morning to noon, Isak and Even were playing with their son, Vance, who's about eight months old. Even leans over to give his Husband a kiss when mid kiss, they're interrupted by Ole walking into the living room and changing the channel to ABC, which of course is playing reruns of Law & Order SVU. Isak takes Ole coming downstairs as a way of saying, "Here, let me play with Vance", So Isak places the happy baby in his son's lap, then sitting down in Even's. Even wraps his arms around his small husbands waist, pulling him closer to him, kissing his cheek multiple times.  
"Are you still that in love?" Ole asks, causing his dads to answer in unison, "Always". 

Ole smiles, he hopes he can find someone to love as much as his dads love each other. He's never seen a couple more in love than his dads, when they look at each other its like their seeing each other for the first time, and falling in love all over again. And not a day goes by where he's not grateful for that love that he's been shown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I know it's short but I had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you have an even better time reading it! Love you!  
> Oh, and updates will be once a week, if I cannot post for some reason that week, then I'll have two chapters the next week.


	2. And He Don't Know How To Cuss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak has some news, and Amalia has a thing for finding the weirdest shit on the internet.
> 
> Also....Sorry this is short, I tried to get a chapter out and I have no time to write right now. I'll have a long chapter out very soon!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Song-My Boy by Billie Eilish
> 
> Book Title-Menswear by The 1975

Two months later...

 

 

>  "Babe" Isak says in a quiet voice, while he was laying in bed face to face with Even. "Yeah?" Even responded, while rubbing his thumb on Isaks cheek then brushing a strand of hair behind Isaks ear. "I'm pregnant" Isak says, voice shaking slightly. "Really?" Even said with a smile, causing Isak to take his husbands hand and place it on his stomach, "Yeah, there's a baby in there". Even grabbed his husbands small waist, pulling him onto his lap, kissing him sweetly. The kiss gets a little heated, but they don't do anything to stop the kiss. But the fact that they're both so happy from the news that the smiles on their faces stop the kiss from continuing. 

   

 

  The next morning goes normally. It's finals week for the kids so they come home earlier due to the week being half-days. Even goes to pick them up from school while Isak feeds Vance and puts him down for a nap, Isak knows that his kids are back along with his husband because he hears the oh-so familiar voice of his daughter say, ''I'm finna piss on myself''. ''Should I ask? Or...'' Isak says to his husband, whose arms are currently around his waist, the olders hands resting gently on Isaks barely visible bump.

  ''Am was watching a video and something happened that was funny, and now she's, and I quote, 'Finna piss on herself'''. Even says, using air quotes when quoting his daughters words. Isak leans his head up a little at his husband, signaling to Even that he want's a kiss, which Even gladly gives him. It's a series of short kisses in a row, then they pull apart due to the sound of gagging coming from their children. ''My eyes! They're burning!'', Ole says while covering his eyes with his hands, causing his dads to laugh. ''I walked in on you getting a blowjob, that image is now causing me PTSD, bitch'' Isak says while grabbing the basket that holds all of Vance's toys, picking up the remains of the mess his and Even's son made during playtime.

  ''I was watching 'The weird thing about the Johnson's' and the son was in the middle of jerking his little ding-dong when his dad walked in, and then when his dad left, the camera  showed that he was holding a picture of his dad, and I lost it. I was like 'Shit, he beating his meat to his daddy', meanwhile I'm trying to find me a daddy to beat my meat to'''. Amalia's comment left her dads shocked and her brother in tears. ''I found myself someone to beat my ding-dong too'' Ole stated, causing Even to say what's on his mind, ''At least I have an ass to put my meat in'' Even so, sassily stated causing his smaller husband to chuck a pillow that belongs on their couch at him. ''Nothing that belongs to you isn't going to be in my ass ever again if you say shit like that'' Isak stated, feeling very powerful knowing that that threat is something that Even can, and will not deal well with. ''G-R-O-S-S'' Ole states, while gagging a little, Amalia only being able to say her most favorite word, ''Ew''.

 

Two hours later...

 

  ''Babe'' Even hears his husband say from Vance's nursery, causing him to quickly walk into his room, only to see his husband holding their son away from his body, and a puddle of what looks like milk on the grey rug by Vance's crib, and the same milky substance on his husbands shirt. ''What happened?'' Even asks, Isak lets out a complaining whine, ''Vance threw up on me'' Even knows how much Isak hates getting thrown up on, it's up pretty high on the list of things that Isak hates, which is a pretty long list. Even lets out a sigh, only to walk over and grab his son and let Isak go change his shirt, and let himself put Vance in some new clothes and clean the rug.

  When Even is done, and Vance is finally taking  nap, He walks into the living room only to see Isak being forced to watch H3H3Productions with Am and Ole, because Isak won't admit it, but he likes just watching something with his kids, he likes doing things that make others happy. Isak has to maintain his 'grumpy' aesthetic. Even sits on the same couch as his lover, then proceeds to pull Isak into his lap, kissing his cheek a few times as well. Isak giggles when Even kisses him, it's not a funny giggle, it's a happy giggle. 

  Their kids look at them with a smile, then when Isak spots Am's phone, he knows they're being filmed. He flips off the camera causing the room to erupt with laughter. Even gives Isak's thighs a rhythm of pats before Vance begins to cry, signaling that he's done with his nap. Isak gets Vance and puts him in Evens lap, Even playing with the happy baby while Isak finishes a stack of papers that he offered to grade for Even. They all have fun, until Amalia had to be herself, and opens her mouth. "So, do you eat ass?" Amalia questions, putting her phone down and giving all her attention to her family, "I don't want to know what my son does in bed" Isak groans out, while hiding his face in Evens lap, causing Even to laugh and start running his fingers through his husbands soft hair.

  "Dads, are you sure Am isn't adopted?" Ole questions, then proceeds to get flipped off by his sister. "I eat ass, I love eating ass" Even states proudly, causing another groan to escape Isaks mouth, "I'm going to go feed Van in the kitchen, I might invite Eskild over as well, I need some sanity in this house" Isak sasses as he picks up his son, gives Even a kiss, and walks into the kitchen. But not before his husband playfully smacks his ass, only to have him say, "That's all mine, man am I lucky". Making Isak smile and say "I love you" in response to Evens comment.                                                                                              

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter!! I worked hard and I hope you really like it!! Sorry it took so long for an update!!! I am currently in high school and next week, my last week of the school year is finals week so it's been hard to do anything else but study!!!


	3. Wait can I really say the N-Word?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title-Freaky Friday by Lil Dicky
> 
> Awful trash song, don't listen to it. I made them listen to it as a meme.
> 
> P.S. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1000 READS OMG THIS IS AMAZING LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!!

 

 

 

> "If it's a girl, can you name her Eileen?" Amalia asked her dad, who was currently trying to feed Vance, while her other dad was grading papers next to her. "Why? and Eileen isn't very Norwegian, Am" Isak stated, him and Even agreed that they wanted to keep their kids names very Norwegian because they're proud to be Norwegian. "So that when she's older, we can be like, "Come on, Eileen" Amalia stated while she began to sing the wonderful song, Come On Eileen making Even laugh. "That was pretty clever, Am" Even said while he fist bumped his daughter.

  "Please Am, it's obviously going to be a boy, and they're going to name them Ole Jr" Ole said very, matter of factually, "So that their nickname is OJ? Like OJ Simpson, who's in prison? Yeah, good idea dipshit" Amalia snapped back at her brother, making her parents, and Vance laugh. Ole shot her a mean look, then flipped her off. Ever since Isak and Even told their kids about the new addition to their family, they've been fighting about what the baby was going to be named after. And by they, I mean the kids. "I was thinking for a girl we could name her Anastzjia" Even said while looking at his husband, who smiled at him while he talked. Isak ran his fingers through Evens hair a few times before leaning down to kiss him. "I like that name, baby" Isak said while smiling, Vance laughed and clapped his little baby hands making Even laugh. Even picked up his son and sat him in his lap and kissed his head, he had Isak's beautiful green eyes, with a hint of blue in the center. Isak loved how good Even was with kids, Isak just loved Even in general. "I love you" Isak said to Even as he rested his chin on his head, "I love you too" Even said back before turning his head to give his husband a kiss, or two, or four. 

  "I swear Am, they act like they're teenagers" Ole said from his seat in the living room, the sound of the oh so familiar H3H3Productions intro playing in the background. "I know, but it's sweet" Amalia said from her new sitting location next to Ole on the couch, "It's good that they still love each other as much as they did when they first got together" Ole nodded in agreement with his sisters statement, they both looked into the kitchen and looked at their dads smiling at each other, Isak went back to feeding Vance, and Even back to grading papers. You could feel the love between the couple from miles away, Ole and Amalia loved how their parents are still in love like they just started dating, it brings hope that they'll find someone who looks at them the way that their dads look at each other.

  "Dads, listen to this song" Amalia says while she pulls up Freaky Friday by Lil Dicky, which makes Ole look at Amalia like shes gone bonkers, because she has. Right when the song got the chorus, Amalia started dancing and Ole was cracking up. Isak's jaw was on the ground, and Even was dying of what this song was saying. "Oh my god, this is what teens listen too?" Isak said, flabbergasted by what he was hearing. "Who wrote this?" Even questioned, "Lil Dicky" which made their parents crack up, and even brought Isak to tears from laughing so hard. "I'm crying, I'mm crying" Isak said while wiping his tears, making everyone laugh harder.  

 

Three Hours Later...

 

  Isak and Even are pretty cool dads, you know they let Amalia tint her brows dark, so that she could fill her dark eyebrows in and people think she colors her eyebrows in darker than they actually are, which is false, she has dark brows like her dad. For Am and Ole's fifteenth birthday, they gave them their first sip of alcohol because they were both fifteen when they had theirs. But for some reason, they didn't want Am to get the haircut that she wanted because, they don't want her shave part of her hair! Granted, its a small part and it's because she has beautiful curly hair like Isak, so she wants to shave the bottom to make her hair less heavy. "But dad, tell papa that I want this really bad" Amalia whined to Even, knowing that he's the parent that caves more than Isak. "Baby, I know, but he won't let you" Even said as he tucked a strand of hair behind his daughters ear, his attention quickly being drawn to his beautiful husband walking through the door, his two month baby bump showing through his grey sweater. "Am, I'll make a deal with you. I'll let you get a haircut, and get it shorter, but I won't let you shave the underneath until you're eighteen" Isak says while melting into his husbands embrace who's arms are around his waist. "Wait, really?" Amalia asked, and the response she got was a nod from her dad. 

  "But, you're going to have to wait because it costs 400 kroner, and it's tax season" Isak said, which Amalia said "Uhm, why do we need to pay for something I can do in the bathroom bebe" While she grabbed a pair of scissors, making Isak and Even look at her with wide eyes. Uh oh, this is Amalia's too much gene coming out. "Am, do you really think now is a good time to give into your Virgo tendencies?" Isak questions in which Am just nodded and ran to the bathroom, making Isak and Even groan and go after their daughter. This is what they get for having a Virgo. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Going to try, key word TRY, to upload about once or twice a week if I can. Love you <3


End file.
